Show me the light

Push me forward then rotate me
show me how and now reject me.
If I close my eyes forever,
will you still watch over then?
If I close my eyes forever,
could you draw me just a map
so to show me if forever
is even closer than a nap?

Is it right here,or is it fading?
Are you up front or what'm I reading?
Why am I blinded by this seed
that slowly falls within the deep,and leaves
in me nothing else but steep,
too steep three stepless stairs
which I perceive as being there
but still yet somewhere,far,so far from here
so far from me that I can't hear,
can't see nor smell the fear
of being dead yet living.
Can't seem to step up those three stairs,
can't seem to climb down through the air,
no way for me to live between
The living things that still hold on
and how the light embraces none.